A post written with input from native speakers, on behalf of non-native learners—because these native speakers have also been non-native learners themselves.

There are many things that divide people, but in the language and communications space, the “native” vs. “non-native” divide is one of the most significant.

Most native English speakers took a foreign language in school, but that doesn’t mean they truly understand the challenges of adult language learning. (Sorry Mary, but your five years of Spanish don’t exactly count if all you retained was el sofá.) Yet, despite having little firsthand experience, many native speakers still carry strong opinions about how language learning should work.

This post focuses on native English speakers because English is the international language—and the one I work in. But these issues aren’t exclusive to English. Any monolingual speaker with limited experience in another language may hold similar misconceptions, regardless of where they’re from.

This is part of a bigger conversation about rethinking language learning as a whole. If you haven’t already, check out my essay on shifting how we see and discuss language learning.

Let’s break down some of the biggest blind spots.

1. Many native speakers underestimate the time and effort non-natives invest in learning English.

Think back to that one friend in university who seemed to ace every exam effortlessly—only to find out later they had private tutoring for years. The reality? Knowledge isn’t just power; it’s a form of social currency. And in many spaces, admitting to ongoing learning is seen as a weakness rather than a sign of growth.

For non-native speakers, the pressure to “level up” is constant. Unlike native speakers, who were quite literally born into the language, non-natives often spend years (and significant resources) refining their skills—only to be met with unrealistic expectations of "native"-level fluency.

2. A person’s language ability is not a reflection of their intelligence.

A common yet deeply flawed assumption is that someone’s language proficiency equals their intellectual capacity. This leads to non-natives being talked down to, underestimated, or treated as if they need “saving” by well-meaning but uninformed native speakers.

There’s nothing wrong with offering support, but be mindful of the approach. If you wouldn’t correct another native speaker’s grammar in casual conversation, why do it to a non-native? And just because someone doesn’t speak “perfectly” doesn’t mean they don’t fully understand what’s going on.

3. Managing life in a non-native language is mentally exhausting.

Anyone who has lived or worked in a country where they had to function in another language knows the constant cognitive load it takes. It’s not just about words—it’s about navigating social norms, professional expectations, and daily interactions, all while translating in real time.

Native speakers, by default, have the privilege of moving through society without this added layer of effort. While non-natives are expected to adapt, a little empathy from native speakers can go a long way in making communication more inclusive.

Side note: Private language instructors often become one of the few who safe spaces where people can express these struggles—not just about language, but about how it affects their identity and confidence. Research in sociolinguistics (e.g., Norton, B., 2000) and cognitive load theory (e.g., Sweller, 1988; Paas, J., Renkl, A., & Sweller, J., 2003) has shown that language proficiency is not only tied to self-perception and social belonging, but also places significant cognitive strain on learners. This added mental load is a constant challenge for non-native speakers, particularly in professional or high-stakes environments (Kormos, J., 2017).

Protip: If you want to search the papers cited, just put the citations into Google Scholar!

Remember: communication is ALWAYS a two-way street. Over time, we’ll explore ways native speakers can demonstrate empathy and understanding toward their non-native colleagues—without belittling their efforts or abilities. Stay tuned for more insights on how to bridge these gaps and foster better communication in diverse teams.

Credit: Photo by Josh Calabrese on Unsplash